Some days are good, other days are really not. On a good day it feels natural to write in my blog, something that might inspire others who are in the midst of their personal struggles. But on a bad day, that’s not so easy. Take today for example – I woke up feeling uninspired, non-creative, disconnected, heavily foggy-brained. But I’m posting here anyway because that’s what I preach: when you don’t really feel like doing a thing, do it anyway. The ‘feel-like-it’ just might surprise you and arrive later. So here goes…
Lately, this relapse of mine has behaved more like burnout than depression – until today, that is, when depression dropped in for a visit. It comes and goes, up and down, yet the state of burnout remains.
Although creativity is absent today, its splendour was with me yesterday when I worked on weaving a colourful wrap, which I plan to sell at an artisan show. I intend to make a few more since I enjoy the colourplay so much – it’s a real treat, like picking out candy from an old-time general store. It’s all play! That is, on a good day.
Today, however, trying to finish the piece was so HARD, and a tad disheartening. (How can the creative process be so natural one day and stuck-in-the-muck the next?) But that is just he way of this illness – unpredictable, determined, sneaky and steadfast. It takes what it wants, and comes at it pleases. Say hello to relapse!
Here’s hoping that tomorrow feels sunny on the inside as well as out.